Grateful Grownups

Dear Not So Secret Diary,

It’s Thanksgiving week and the week will consist of full tables, familiar laughter, and food that tastes like home. From turkey and dressing to sweet potato pie, this season always brings people together in a way that feels nostalgic. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that Thanksgiving hasn’t really changed, I have. My perspective has shifted from excitement about the food and fun to appreciation for the love and legacy behind it all. What once felt like a holiday is now a reminder of how sacred connection really is.

Becoming an adult meant deciding which “old” traditions I wanted to carry forward and which “new” ones I wanted to create. When I look over my family during Thanksgiving, one tradition I know I’ll always keep is forming a circle, holding hands, and sharing what we’re thankful for. Being thankful doesn’t always have to be a profound revelation, sometimes it’s just being grateful for the moment itself. There’s something about being surrounded by loved ones as they speak from the heart that fills me with warmth every year. As for new traditions, I’d love to add a family talent show or mix up our menu with a few unexpected dishes. It’s a fun way to keep things fresh while honoring where we came from.

Becoming an adult also showed me the difference between blood family and chosen family and the importance of both. Blood family is written in our DNA; it’s a bond you’re born into, not one you select. You love them (sometimes from a distance) because they are a part of you. Chosen family, though, is love by decision. These are the people you’ve handpicked through shared experiences, loyalty, and understanding. The beauty of chosen family is that you’ve seen their flaws and loved them deeper because of it. One bond is built on inheritance, the other on intention — both sacred, both strong.

Another adulthood lesson I learned is the difference between being alone and being lonely. I’m an introvert who was raised to be an extrovert, which means I can hold great conversations but recharge best in solitude. I enjoy being alone; it’s when I process, reflect, and listen to my thoughts until they make sense. Silence, to me, feels like peace. Being alone isn’t a punishment; it’s a present. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a feeling — not a fact. You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. It often shows up when something within you needs care or attention. The older I get, the more I realize that learning to sit with yourself (and actually enjoy it) is one of the most underrated forms of self-love.

As Thanksgiving arrives, I just want to say how grateful I am: for family, for friends, for growth, and for the grace to keep learning who I am. This season always reminds me that gratitude isn’t something you practice once a year; it’s a posture, a way of living. I hope this holiday fills your heart with warmth, laughter, and peace that lasts long after the plates are cleared.

Happy Holidays, from my table to yours. 🧡

Love Always,

Capree