Stop Waiting for Motivation. Build Discipline Instead.

Dear Not So Secret Diary,

Motivation had ruled my life for a long time. I started countless projects because I felt motivated. Every new idea came with a rush (and of course, a cart full of things I “needed” to begin). Looking back, motivation wasn’t just a tool for me; it was a high I was constantly chasing. The hardest lesson I learned about motivation was how quickly it disappeared. At best, it stayed with me for about seven to nine days. During that time, I was unstoppable: productive, confident, and convinced I had finally cracked the code. I was doing all the things, feeling amazing, and truly believing I was on my way. Then it would vanish. Motivation, I realized, was just like my emotions: fleeting. The crash afterward always felt heavy, discouraging, and shame filled. Each time, I found myself stuck in the same exhausting cycle — idea, motivation, planning, starting… then quitting. Eventually, I had to ask myself an honest question: What was I missing that would actually take me into the next phase of my life?

The short answer was discipline. I didn’t need more ideas. I didn’t need more planners, notebooks, or vision boards. I needed discipline: the kind that would help me follow through, execute consistently, and experience real success instead of just fantasizing about it. Once I accepted that, I needed to understand what discipline actually was. Whenever I’m learning something new, I always start with the definition. I was thinking of discipline as something I could acquire, so I looked at it as a noun. The definition stopped me in my tracks: Discipline: self-control. That realization hit deeper than I expected. I immediately knew this was the real work. Discipline wasn’t something I could force overnight; it was a result. A fruit. The root I needed to grow was self-control.

Self-control is the ability to regulate your impulses, emotions, and desires. If I’m being honest, I knew right away this was something I lacked. I struggled with feeding every desire. I let my emotions lead my decisions. I reacted instead of responding. What confused me was why. Why was self-control so hard for me? Then it clicked. I was never taught self-control because, on the surface, I never seemed out of control. I made straight A’s — not because I studied relentlessly, but because I was naturally smart. I did what I was told — not because I was disciplined, but because it benefited me. I wanted to be the teacher’s pet — not for academic growth, but because I craved attention. I had learned how to perform well without learning how to regulate myself. So at 29 years old, I found myself doing something humbling: learning self-control for the very first time. For a long time, I thought discipline meant restriction, harsh rules, or forcing myself to do things I didn’t want to do. What I’ve learned since is that discipline is actually an act of self-respect. Discipline is keeping promises to yourself. Discipline is showing up when the excitement fades. Discipline is choosing long-term growth over short-term comfort. That shift changed everything for me.

I didn’t wake up one day suddenly disciplined. I started small. I stopped asking myself how I felt and began asking what was required of me. I created simple routines. I allowed boredom. I learned how to sit with discomfort instead of immediately trying to escape it. With each small act of self-control, my trust in myself grew. That trust became the foundation for consistency. That’s the part no one really talks about: discipline builds self-trust, and self-trust creates momentum. I haven’t fully learned this lesson yet, but I’ve begun to see the blessings that come with becoming disciplined. I imagine a life with less self-sabotage. A life where dreams and goals don’t stay ideas but slowly turn into reality. A life where I am exactly who I believe myself to be — grounded, strong, healthy, and growing in knowledge and wisdom.

When I wait to feel motivated before I start, I find myself starting over again and again. So instead, I’m learning to build discipline — slowly, imperfectly, and intentionally. I’m creating a life that doesn’t depend on fleeting feelings. I don’t need more motivation. I need structure. I need self-control. I need to keep showing up. In this season of learning how to do that, I remind myself that I’m not behind.

I’m becoming.

Warm Hugs,

Capree'

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