The Friend I Was Really Looking For

Dear Not So Secret Diary,

Lately, I’ve been craving a friend. Confidant. Someone I could share my journey, growth, and honestly, just me with. At first, the search left me discouraged. Everyone I meet felt surface-level. They all had dreams they wanted, but no one was actually working towards them. I didn't just want a friendship that would grow together but I also wanted a person that wanted to grow individually as well. Since that is something more rare, I spent a lot of time alone, hyping myself up, and pushing myself to keep going. Being alone was starting to become deafening loud and eeriely quiet at the same time. It wasn’t until I started posting on social media that it clicked. I am NOT alone. There IS a community out there; I just needed to attract them.

So now instead of craving a friend I was looking for my audience. Looking for an audience is definitely easier than looking for a friend, but it sure is time consuming. Social media is about quality, consistency, and hashtags. A language I am not well versed in and definitely do not understand the importance of. However, it is definitely worth it: exposure, scaling, and finances are all things that can be changed positively. Now with any new tasks there are bound to be some learning curves. However I was learning an important lesson that I wasn't hearing a lot of people talk about: intended and unintended audiences.

Intended Audience

Your intended audience is made up of the people who were meant to see and hear your message. They lean in when you speak. They follow your updates, cheer on your growth, and benefit from both your words and your actions. An intended audience sees you as a whole person. They understand your viewpoints, they see your flaws as beauty—not ruin—and they choose to walk alongside you. And the best part? They can be crafted, found, and nurtured over time. When that happens, the intended audience starts to feel less like “followers” and more like true friends.

That all sounds so great, but as we know the internet can be a mean place.

The Unintended Audience

So now lets look into the unintended audience. Obviously, these are the people who weren’t meant to see or hear your message. Maybe your content doesn’t apply to them. Maybe they’re simply not interested. Or maybe they just don’t agree with your perspective. The unintended audience often brings critique—sometimes harshly. They may point out flaws, rush to judgment, or leave negative comments. And when you’re not grounded, it can sting.

Speaking Intentions

Reading the two types will help you hypothesize that one audience type is better than the other. Over time, I’ve realized that “intended” doesn’t always mean “good” And “unintended” doesn’t always mean “bad.” If the people meant for you are not holding you accountable—or worse, enabling you—they’re not truly helping. Just like those outside perspectives, unfiltered critiques, and honest opinions that help you grow the most. Each group has its purpose. The real wisdom lies in discerning which category someone belongs in and responding with grace and clarity.

That was the lesson I learned about social media, but there was also a lesson I learned about myself.

The Real Lesson

At the core of it all, my longing for a friend wasn’t just about companionship. It was about validation. I was looking for someone else to say, “I see you. You’re doing great.”

But no audience—intended or unintended—can fill that need. That validation has to come from me. God has been dealing me a lot of cards lately, and for the first time, I’m not overwhelmed by how much is in my hand. Whether it’s a little or a lot, I know exactly what to do with it.

Three months into this business, I see now that the journey isn’t about who claps the loudest or checks in the most. It’s about becoming the woman who can validate, affirm, and pour into herself first. From that overflow, the right audience will always find me.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been feeling that same craving for connection, maybe it’s not about finding more people—maybe it’s about finding yourself first. The right community won’t just appear because you want them. They’ll appear because you’ve already started building the foundation within.

And here’s the beautiful part: you don’t have to do it alone.

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And if you’d love to stay connected day-to-day, come find me on all platforms @capreeable. That’s where I share behind-the-scenes moments, encouragement, and the real-life side of the journey.

Let’s keep walking this out—together.

Warm Hugs,

Capree'