When Discipline Becomes Self-Control | A Journey of Becoming

Dear Not So Secret Diary,

Last week, I shared how I realized I needed to become more disciplined; only to discover that what I was really lacking was self-control. Once I could name the issue, it was time to do the work.

The first thing I did was give myself a full weekend to simply watch myself. I observed my impulses, desires, and emotions without judgment. I paid attention to the hows, whens, wheres, whys, and whats. I wanted to know them intimately. I knew this wasn’t something I could dominate or overpower. It was something I had to serve. If I spent all my energy trying to “be strong” over these parts of me, I would eventually crumble during moments of weakness. The real question became: how can I love these parts of myself while still guiding them wisely?

Once I understood my patterns more clearly, it was time to create a game plan. Impulses were the easiest place to start because the common thread was always the same: I didn’t pause to think. For my first trial run, anytime I felt an impulsive decision rising, I slowed down, took a few deep breaths, and prayed.

Next came my desires. These were trickier because of when and how they showed up. Desires tend to disguise themselves as urgency. So for this trial, whenever I felt a strong desire take over, I drank a glass of water and prayed. That simple pause created just enough space for clarity to step in.

Then there were my emotions. As a Pisces, I genuinely love my emotions. They feel like a core part of who I am. But I also knew it was time to stop letting them be my kryptonite and start allowing them to be my superpower. So for this trial run, whenever I felt a big emotion surface, I took a walk and prayed. Movement helped my body release what my mind was holding onto.

Of course, like anything worthwhile in life, this was easier said than done. But I was determined to live a life that was better done than said. After completing my first week of trial runs, I was genuinely proud of the results. Everything slowed down. I felt more present, more aware, and more intentional.

That’s when a new issue became very clear: I didn’t have a defined list of priorities. Prayer is woven into everything I do because this isn’t just a relationship with myself that I’m building; it’s a journey I’m walking with God. I want us to always be aligned. But when my priority list only consisted of God, myself, and my daughter, there was still a lot of gray area where poor decisions could slip in unnoticed. So while working on self-control, I was also being called to define my priorities more clearly.

I turned to my vision boards for guidance. I look at my personal and business vision boards often because they reflect the life I’m working toward. Naturally, they also revealed what my priorities needed to be. This process turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Once my priorities were clear, bad decisions became obvious upfront. There was less confusion and far less inner negotiation.

What I gained was insight, clarity, and confidence. Even though I’m not fully the person I’m becoming yet, I am actively building the responses that future version of me will need. This season of becoming isn’t about perfection. It’s about practice. It’s about choosing new standards one moment at a time.

We don’t always start with all the answers. Sometimes growth begins with trial runs; small, intentional experiments that teach us what actually works for us.

If you’re in a season where discipline feels heavy, maybe the invitation isn’t to try harder, but to slow down and listen more closely. To observe your impulses, honor your desires, and walk with your emotions instead of fighting them. Ask yourself: What would it look like to serve this part of me instead of resisting it? That question alone might be the beginning of your own becoming.

Warm Hugs,

Capree'

P. S. If this resonated with you, take a moment today to observe one impulse, desire, or emotion—without judgment. You don’t have to fix it yet. Just notice it.

Journal Prompt for the Cozy Corner:

Which area needs guidance right now: your impulses, your desires, or your emotions? What would it look like to serve it instead of suppress it? What would it look like to serve it instead of suppress it?